April 19, 2015

My 8 Favorite Crazy #CityLife Stories from Boston

One of my favorite things about living in a city is that I see really cool stuff…all the time. And by cool I mean funky, weird, and sometimes just bizarre. No matter what area I’m in, there’s always something that makes me smile or laugh. In the past year, I’ve had tons of great experiences, but also some really weird ones. Read on for my favorites.

#1 – My first weird experience was on the T (subway) last May. My friend Jessica and I were on our way to dinner and this man sitting near us was singing…so loudly. He just keep crooning “You are so beautiful…to me…can’t you see?” I look over, and as he’s singing, he’s staring right at me. I look at Jess and she’s like “He’s definitely talking to you.” When he finally stopped he asked me for money. I said I didn’t have any cash so he then asked me “Well then can I have your number instead?” Oy.

#2 – I was walking around Harvard Square one afternoon just popping in random stores, enjoying the weather. This guy, probably mid 20s, comes up and asks me “Do you know where the Charles Hotel is?” At the time, I really didn’t, so I told him “No, sorry I’m new here.” And he said “Ok, then can I have your number?” This again?! I told him I was married. We both looked down and it was clear I had no ring on. I bolted.

#3 – Another night in Harvard Square I was trying to meet up with my roommate. I pulled up Google Maps on my phone to figure out where the bar was and started walking towards it. Or so I thought. As I’m walking this man yells at me for money. I looked at him all bug-eyed and just kept going…until I realized I was going in the wrong direction. So I turn around and as I pass him again he screeeeeeams at me: “Oh, you’re lost are ya? Of course you are! You know why? Bc you’re always on your GD phone.” Like, what?! Ok, ok, maybe I am but how do you know? Bolted again.

#4 – Picture it. Winter time. Davis Square. It had finally stopped snowing this day, but there was still snow all around. That said, it was sunny and the sidewalks were clear. I had just gotten coffee with a friend and was wearing booties. This man walks by me and says straight at me “Look at this girl! Are you serious right now with those shoes? I mean come on, that is not appropriate winter wear.” Uhhh who are you?? No, I was not wearing my Sorels but for the love of God I wasn’t wearing open-toed shoes or stillettos or something. My feet were perfectly warm, thank you very much. And who just randomly gets yelled at for their fashion choices? I mean geez.

#5 – Last week, Central Square. Lotsa crazies out there. I’m waiting for the T and I hear a man yelling but don’t see where it’s coming from. I’m thinking “Oh boy, here we go. Fight time.” 30 seconds later a man with a ton of bags sits down next to me and starts going off. Not at me, just to the air in front of him. I’m like ohh Lord, I need this train to come ASAP. Then he gets up, walks over to the brick wall and starts going off again with “I $%^&-ing TOLD YOU not to mess with me. You better be glad there aren’t cameras in here”…and proceeds to punch the wall. The brick wall. T came and I made 100% sure I was not in the same car as him.

#6 – Last week, walking through Porter Square – SAME day as above. I’m just walking along, listening to music, and enjoying the fact that I can wear pink pants again. Man walks by me on the sidewalk and casually points at me and says “You’re gay!” And it wasn’t in an accusatory tone — just a casual “Yay!” type of way. I just kept walking.

#7 – The last time I got my eyebrows threaded was super painful. I go every few weeks so I’m pretty used to the feeling, but this time it was bad. I kept squirming and my eyes were tearing up. I said to my girl Mina “Why does it hurt so badly today? I’m usually fine with this–you know!” And she looks right at me and says in her Indian accent “You getting period.” Sorry, what? “Yes, your hormones. It’s period time.” Two hours later I had cramps. Mina knows everything!!!

#8 – This one’s short & sweet. Lindsay and I were at dinner the other night sitting pretty close to another table. It was hard not to overhear their conversation and I couldn’t help but look over when their food was delivered. The guy starts talking to the girl about different wines and the girl, with her Boston meets Valley girl accent says to him “Yeah…I’m not really a wine carnivore.” A wine WHAT? Oh man. That date was over.

Moral of these stories: Don’t leave the house.

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  • Maria

    Oh my. You handled those situations a lot better than I would have! This is the exact reason why we are moving to the middle of nowhere one day!

    One of our good friends and a coworker of my husband’s is moving to Boston in two weeks, so I definitely need to share these with him and you know, give him a heads up. People in CA don’t even look up from their phones long enough to tell someone “You’re gay”.

  • Sheanna Caban

    Holy. Shit. I would probably be dead by now if I were in your situation, mostly because of my low threshold for bullshit when other people are yelling at me—I tend to yell back and use a multitude of expletives. That guy who hit the brick wall, though….He’d get a pass.

  • These stories are crazy. I’m so confused by the random men who will just yell things at you.

  • I always have crazy stories too! Gotta love our city! 🙂

  • Biana Perez

    I love the one where you said you were married and then bolted LOL and also that girl saying the carnivore comment is just too perfect! xo, Biana – BlovedBoston

  • So basally you’re either getting hit on or hit up for money it sounds like! 😉 Seriously Boston is the best city but with all cities it does really seem to attract a lot of crazies right?!?!?

  • Lol oh man this makes me miss the crazies in Chicago… Public transportation was always an adventure!

  • Hannah Longmore

    My life in Boston, to a T. Happy to start a weird, what is happening in my life Boston tumblr with you.

  • Grace Soohye Moshfegh

    #6 LOL!

  • Madison

    As a Bostonian ( from the city NOT outskirts) born and raised, this does not seem out of the ordinary. This is city life, just the norn. Trust me, there more to come.

  • Cate Hartnett

    I love the crazies of Boston. The city wouldn’t be the same without them!

  • Christine Estler Higgins

    On #7 I’ve heard the same about getting waxed!

  • Gah! Most of these would have terrified me!

    I do have a friend who once bought a fake diamond ring and wore it when she went out, hoping to help deter the crazies.

  • Haley Marozas

    Please make this a monthly thing. These are HILARIOUS!!

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